How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
