I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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