I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize