FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize