Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
