He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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