I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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