I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I was not drunk enough for that final.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
