I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
We left the knife in your bed.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
