White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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