I got chris browned last night
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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