My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
