spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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