i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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