i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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