sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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