Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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