chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
