Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
farters have to be the big spoon...
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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