he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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