so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
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