I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
