Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize
