Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
