he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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