Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
