How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
