Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
