I want to walk on stilts...naked
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I am mentally ready for anal.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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