I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
