i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
