I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
