hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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