I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
