Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
