i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
