she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
