I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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