this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
