If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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