dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
