If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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