It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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