So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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