I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
