i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
