Girls should come with a carfax report
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
