im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
