He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
