How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
sex in a hospital.. check
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
