Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
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