I just saw a hot homeless man
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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