Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize